be my escape

be my escape. by relient k.

I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so You won’t even know me
apart from this whole world that shares my fate.
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption,
'cause I know to live you must give your life away.

'Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity
and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key.
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me,
And even though there’s no way in knowing where to go, I promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here,
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake.
I gotta get outta here,
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I’m giving up on doing this alone now, Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how,
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there.
And this life sentence that I’m serving,
I admit that I’m every bit deserving,
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.

'Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity
and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key.
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me,
And even though there’s no way in knowing where to go, I promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here,
I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake.
I gotta get outta here,
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I am a hostage to my own humanity,
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made.
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me,
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave.

'Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity
and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key.
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me,
And even though there’s no way in knowing where to go, I promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here,
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake.
I gotta get outta here,
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I fought You for so long,
I should have let You in,
Oh how we regret those things we do.
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin,
But so were You.

So were You.

i think i'm on a roll here in little rock

i'm sitting here in my new apartment in little rock, and it's still a wreck. i still haven't completely unpacked. and right now, my big dilemma is trying to figure out where to put things and what to put in storage, etc. but even tho it is a mess, i am making progress. and things are going well. getting settled in at work,... i've been mostly doing a lot of observation so far, but will soon (hopefully next week) be getting my hands on actual casework. training won't officially be over for another 6 or 8 weeks, but at least i finally feel like i'm moving forward there too. i am really enjoying all the folks i work with. and i like my apartment (and the two obnoxious cats). and i'm just liking little rock. :)