let's play a game called bad news, good news....
bad news: i'm still unemployed.
good news: another position that i would really like to have and for which i need zero experience just opened up (in texas). i put my application in the mail today!
bad news: my lease is up at the end of the month, and we're not renewing it.
good news: my two roommies have places to go--one is moving in w/her fam for a few months to save up some $$ before moving to texas and the other is going to teach 9th graders in south korea for a year. crazy!
bad news: i don't have permanent housing until i get a permanent job.
good news: i have a temporary home. some wonderful friends are gonna let me crash in their basement for awhile. i get a bedroom and bathroom all to myself. oh, and i have a house-sitting gig for a week, so wonderful friends won't have to deal with me until the 2nd week of august.
bad news: wonderful friends are soon getting a puppy--which is really not bad news--but it means i probably won't be able to keep purrsuit there.
good news: my parents are always thrilled to take care of the princess! (they would never admit it, but they love her. i'm sure of it.)
bad news: i'm ending this post.
good news: i've been doing better about posting and informing you of my somewhat exciting life... i'll try to keep it up!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
workin' 9 to 5
i realize the title is a bit misleading--this post is not about working, but about being unemployed. and looking for work. i wish i was writing to proclaim that i will finally be doing my dream job, or at least that i have an interview. but unfortunately, that's not the case. so you'll have to deal with my thoughts on unemployment.
don't worry, this isn't some politically fueled post about unemployment or welfare or food stamps, though i do have opinions of such matters,...
no, i'd like to fill you in on my job hunt thus far. back in march, i decided to quit my job as an instructor at the university here. i have yet to regret this decision. i know it would have been the easy thing to do--stay where i knew i had a job and i knew how to do the job and i know all kinds of people in town and i am involved in many church activities--but it wasn't the right thing to do. so, as my sister says, i excercised my faith muscle. and it feels pretty good so far, even if i have not yet secured steady employment. or any employment.
back when i first made this decision, i started looking for crime lab jobs--the kind of job i've always wanted. so i looked, and i found a few, and i applied. i applied 3 places. in 3 different states. in 3 different parts of the country. kansas, arizona, and louisiana. of the jobs, i was most excited about the job in louisiana since it was something a little closer to what i wanted to be doing. anyway, it comes down to this. i got notification from arizona that i wasn't qualified for their position (this i knew going into it, but hey, you never know for sure if you try! sometimes education can substitute for experience in these types of jobs). i also heard from louisiana that they had filled their position. kansas never contacted me. and come to think of it, i never contacted them. but, their opening has not been posted in awhile, so i'm assuming they've filled that position already too. so i was bummed about that. but, what could i do?
i kept looking.
and looking.
and looking.
once school ended and i was officially unemployed, i began even looking for part time jobs around here. i applied to 3 businesses in town--i'll call them bullseye, toys were they, and ex-fed. (don't judge. i need money!) i got an email from bullseye: "we are unable to offer you a position at this time." okay, i can deal with that. maybe they just don't have any openings. i get an email from ex-fed: "you did not pass the initial assessment." what? what does that even mean? did they dislike my answers in their ridiculously long "personality profile" that accompanied the application? apparently, i'm not ex-fed material. i didn't even want to drive a truck or wear the shorts. i just wanted to stand behind the desk and make copies for people. oh well. toys were they apparently didn't want me either, since i never heard back from them. it is what it is.
so, now, here i am. still jobless. still unsure of what my future holds. but, good news is, i've applied for 2 more "big kid jobs" in the last couple of weeks. one in texas and one in maryland. hoping to hear back from them soon...both have application deadlines this week, so it hopefully won't be too long.
in the mean time, i may continue to look for part time employment. i may continue to stay at home day after day doing little things around the house like clean the shower and pull ivy and vacuum and do laundry. i'll do my best to keep you posted. and i'll keep working on bulking up that faith muscle. :)
don't worry, this isn't some politically fueled post about unemployment or welfare or food stamps, though i do have opinions of such matters,...
no, i'd like to fill you in on my job hunt thus far. back in march, i decided to quit my job as an instructor at the university here. i have yet to regret this decision. i know it would have been the easy thing to do--stay where i knew i had a job and i knew how to do the job and i know all kinds of people in town and i am involved in many church activities--but it wasn't the right thing to do. so, as my sister says, i excercised my faith muscle. and it feels pretty good so far, even if i have not yet secured steady employment. or any employment.
back when i first made this decision, i started looking for crime lab jobs--the kind of job i've always wanted. so i looked, and i found a few, and i applied. i applied 3 places. in 3 different states. in 3 different parts of the country. kansas, arizona, and louisiana. of the jobs, i was most excited about the job in louisiana since it was something a little closer to what i wanted to be doing. anyway, it comes down to this. i got notification from arizona that i wasn't qualified for their position (this i knew going into it, but hey, you never know for sure if you try! sometimes education can substitute for experience in these types of jobs). i also heard from louisiana that they had filled their position. kansas never contacted me. and come to think of it, i never contacted them. but, their opening has not been posted in awhile, so i'm assuming they've filled that position already too. so i was bummed about that. but, what could i do?
i kept looking.
and looking.
and looking.
once school ended and i was officially unemployed, i began even looking for part time jobs around here. i applied to 3 businesses in town--i'll call them bullseye, toys were they, and ex-fed. (don't judge. i need money!) i got an email from bullseye: "we are unable to offer you a position at this time." okay, i can deal with that. maybe they just don't have any openings. i get an email from ex-fed: "you did not pass the initial assessment." what? what does that even mean? did they dislike my answers in their ridiculously long "personality profile" that accompanied the application? apparently, i'm not ex-fed material. i didn't even want to drive a truck or wear the shorts. i just wanted to stand behind the desk and make copies for people. oh well. toys were they apparently didn't want me either, since i never heard back from them. it is what it is.
so, now, here i am. still jobless. still unsure of what my future holds. but, good news is, i've applied for 2 more "big kid jobs" in the last couple of weeks. one in texas and one in maryland. hoping to hear back from them soon...both have application deadlines this week, so it hopefully won't be too long.
in the mean time, i may continue to look for part time employment. i may continue to stay at home day after day doing little things around the house like clean the shower and pull ivy and vacuum and do laundry. i'll do my best to keep you posted. and i'll keep working on bulking up that faith muscle. :)
Monday, June 21, 2010
sometimes you feel like a nut
i've always claimed that i don't like nuts, except for peanuts. much to my dismay, i recently learned that i like pistachios. to comfort me, a friend told me that pistachios are not nuts; they are, in fact, legumes. so, feeling much better about myself and that i could still claim my dislike of nuts (i like peanuts; peanuts are legumes), i decided to look this up. i, of course, wanted to post my declaration on this blog for all to know.
well, as everyone is aware, wikipedia is the all-knowing, always infallible, universal source for all things. so i looked up pistachios. according to this omniscient website, a pistachio is a culinary nut (any large, oily kernel found within a shell and used in food), rather than a botanical nut (a simple dry fruit with one seed (rarely two) in which the ovary wall becomes very hard at maturity, and where the seed remains attached or fused with the ovary wall). now i'm not going to take the time to delve into plant biology--after all, this rabbit trail is already becoming much too long--but, this article does support the claim that a pistachio is not a "nut" in the traditional, botanical sense. however, this does not support that a pistachio is a legume (a simple dry fruit that develops from a simple carpel and usually opens along a seam on two sides), and it claims that many other "nuts" out there are also not truly nuts.
i feel as if one of my central life claims is quickly deteriorating--that i do not like nuts. (i feel i should add here, that another of my central life claims remains unscathed--that if it hurts, ice cream will make it better.)
actually, i could argue that i still do not like nuts. according to wikipedia, nuts (in the botanical sense) are things like hazelnuts, chestnuts, beech nuts. and i still dislike these. the problem is that many of the "nuts" that i dislike are not truly classified as nuts. for example, almonds, walnuts, pecans, brazil nuts, and macadamia nuts are all considered seeds or kernels. as are peanuts and pistachios--"nuts" that i like.
so where does that leave me? what can my new claim be? "i dislike nuts and many seeds and kernels"? maybe "i dislike nuts, seeds, kernels, except peanuts and pistachios"? hmm. maybe i'll just stick with "i don't like nuts" while adding that i'm a picky eater (though i never realized this until i moved out of my parents' house) and i dislike walnuts and almonds and brazil nuts and macadamia nuts and pecans and (while i'm on a roll...) cherries and coconut and tapioca and blueberries and tomatoes and mushrooms and...
well, as everyone is aware, wikipedia is the all-knowing, always infallible, universal source for all things. so i looked up pistachios. according to this omniscient website, a pistachio is a culinary nut (any large, oily kernel found within a shell and used in food), rather than a botanical nut (a simple dry fruit with one seed (rarely two) in which the ovary wall becomes very hard at maturity, and where the seed remains attached or fused with the ovary wall). now i'm not going to take the time to delve into plant biology--after all, this rabbit trail is already becoming much too long--but, this article does support the claim that a pistachio is not a "nut" in the traditional, botanical sense. however, this does not support that a pistachio is a legume (a simple dry fruit that develops from a simple carpel and usually opens along a seam on two sides), and it claims that many other "nuts" out there are also not truly nuts.
i feel as if one of my central life claims is quickly deteriorating--that i do not like nuts. (i feel i should add here, that another of my central life claims remains unscathed--that if it hurts, ice cream will make it better.)
actually, i could argue that i still do not like nuts. according to wikipedia, nuts (in the botanical sense) are things like hazelnuts, chestnuts, beech nuts. and i still dislike these. the problem is that many of the "nuts" that i dislike are not truly classified as nuts. for example, almonds, walnuts, pecans, brazil nuts, and macadamia nuts are all considered seeds or kernels. as are peanuts and pistachios--"nuts" that i like.
so where does that leave me? what can my new claim be? "i dislike nuts and many seeds and kernels"? maybe "i dislike nuts, seeds, kernels, except peanuts and pistachios"? hmm. maybe i'll just stick with "i don't like nuts" while adding that i'm a picky eater (though i never realized this until i moved out of my parents' house) and i dislike walnuts and almonds and brazil nuts and macadamia nuts and pecans and (while i'm on a roll...) cherries and coconut and tapioca and blueberries and tomatoes and mushrooms and...
Friday, June 4, 2010
here's my heart, You write the words
tonight is one of those nights where i have someone on my heart, but i just can't seem to find words.
"But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God."
Romans 8:25-27 (ESV)
Thursday, May 13, 2010
You're calling me to lay aside the worries of my day...
...to quiet down my busy mind and find a hiding place.
it sounds so simple. put aside your troubles and rest in Him. i struggle with this so much. i mean, i have no problem praying and asking Father for help with those troubles. but i don't want to let them go. i say "here, Lord, you take this half," or "c'mon, we'll lift together." but He makes it clear to us that we are to give those burdens completely to Him:
Philippians 4:6: Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
1 Peter 5:6-7: Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.
Psalm 55:22: Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.
and there are many more. like most of the blogs i write, this one is a reminder specifically for me. i've been struggling with a number of things lately... broken relationships, bruised friendships, an uncertain future... and all i need to do is give these things to Him. lay them in His hands.
please Father give me the strength to let go and to trust You. You are far more worthy than anything i could ever offer. please take my pride and my selfishness and my lusts and my desires, so that i may focus wholly on You.
Friday, March 19, 2010
to go back to where i was would just be wrong... i'm pressing on
well, it is official. i will be unemployed after may. the job hunt is on. again. i hate the feeling of not knowing. not knowing where i'll be or what i'll be doing or if i'll know anyone there. i try to trust. i try to have faith and believe. but i get in my way. and i worry about how things are going to work out. i don't want to move somewhere alone. i lived in an apartment by myself for 2 years. and really didn't enjoy it most of the time. (technically, i guess you could say i wasn't alone... i had my fat cat.) so, that part of me freaks out at the possibility of having to do that again. anyway, sorry. not trying to whine.
i'm pressing on. i'm doing my best to give it all to the Lord. He is the only One who can (and does) know what my future holds. i'll just have to trust that His Way is best.
i'm pressing on. i'm doing my best to give it all to the Lord. He is the only One who can (and does) know what my future holds. i'll just have to trust that His Way is best.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
captivate us
a good friend of mine recently told me that i need to update more often. she's right. (thanks, nicole!) my first attempt at writing this particular post came last week during our weekly small group. i know, "you were blogging during small group?!" yes, i was. well, trying. i couldn't seem to figure out what to write or how to write it. i just knew i wanted to. so, after numerous attempts, i gave up for the evening.
so, now, another attempt. sitting in the living room floor with my guitar next to me. i've been learning a song by watermark, called "captivate us." the words are pretty amazing:
so, now, another attempt. sitting in the living room floor with my guitar next to me. i've been learning a song by watermark, called "captivate us." the words are pretty amazing:
Your face is beautiful and Your eyes are like the starts
Your gentle hands have healing, there inside the scars
Your loving arms, they draw me near, and Your smile, it brings me peace
draw me closer, oh my Lord, draw me closer, Lord, to Thee
captivate us, Lord Jesus, set our eyes on You
devastate us with Your presence falling down
and Rushing River, draw us nearer, Holy Fountain consume us with You
captivate us, Lord Jesus, with You
Your voice is powerful and Your words are radiant bright
in Your breath and shadow, I will come close and abide
You whisper love and live divine, and Your fellowship is free
draw me closer, oh my Lord, draw me closer, Lord, to Thee
captivate us, Lord Jesus, set our eyes on You
devastate us with Your presence falling down
and Rushing River, draw us nearer, Holy Fountain consume us with You
captivate us, Lord Jesus, with You
captivate us, Lord Jesus, set our eyes on You
devastate us with Your presence falling down
and Rushing River, draw us nearer, Holy Fountain consume us with You
captivate us, Lord Jesus, with You
and let everything be lost in the shadows of the light of Your face
and let every chain be broken from me as i'm bound in Your grace
for Your yoke is easy, Your burden is light
You're full of wisdom, power and might, and every eye will see You
captivate us, Lord Jesus, set our eyes on You
devastate us with Your presence falling down
and Rushing River, draw us nearer, Holy Fountain consume us with You
captivate us, Lord Jesus, with You
devastate us with Your presence falling down
and Rushing River, draw us nearer, Holy Fountain consume us with You
captivate us, Lord Jesus, with You
captivate us, Lord Jesus, with You
captivate us
i think right now, that's my prayer. to be so captivated by the Lord that everything else is just a shadow. i've recently been facing a number of personal struggles, and it is very difficult in those times for me to give up that burden. His yoke is easy. His burden is light. He's full of wisdom, power, and might. i know this. but for some reason, i always think there is some way that i can get thru these things in my strength.
Lord, please captivate my heart. take these burdens from me. fill me with Your love and Your wisdom and Your power.
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