comin' at ya like a whirlwind

I feel like I'm in a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Ever feel that way? When your brain and your heart are both going about a bazillion miles per hour, but not in sync...

Anyway... I found out today that a friend from high school passed away this morning. He had muscular dystrophy and had been fighting for years. I guess it just finally caught up to him. His death wasn't totally unexpected, but it is still hard. I can't even imagine how his family is feeling. I've lost an uncle and a grandfather, and that's hard enough. But I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. It is a little bit of comfort, though, to know that he knew the Lord and is with Father now and for the rest of eternity!

I've been struggling lately about this job thing... I have less than a week to turn things in if I am going to apply for the 'permanent' teaching position. I haven't really felt any distinct direction on the matter, other than not being motivated to go through the application stuff. Maybe there's a reason I haven't been motivated....maybe God is using this as a way to let me know this is not the job for me. I'm not sure. But what I am sure of is that no matter which direction I go, I'll be trusting God and taking a leap of faith. I know He'll use me, whether I follow His call or ignore it. I mean, look at Jonah-- He ran from God, and God used Him to lead one of the greatest revivals of all time! (after a short excursion in the belly of a great fish, of course) So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am leaning toward not even applying for the teaching job. This does of course lead to the possibility of me moving away from Cape in the relatively near future. But, since I currently have no idea what my future looks like past May, this may or may not happen. Just keep me in your prayers about the whole situation if you don't mind....

Unfortunately, this post has taken way too long to complete. And I know I haven't included everything... but I'm having a hard time conveying my thoughts tonight.


Father, I ask for comfort for the Chesnut family as they grieve over losing Justin. Give them a peace and assurance in their hearts that they will get to see him again in Your Glory. Please let others see that peace, and let them wander how a family can be so trusting in You. Let Justin's death lead others to You. Give me the boldness to share the Gospel with my unsaved friends that will be at the visitation.